Published November 26, 2008
You told me to take it or leave it.
at that moment all i could say was
I'll leave it at best.
you said that you don't believe in
coincidences.
now i talk so quiet so that no one can tell
that whenever i see you it makes
me swell with love.
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141,415 Literary Works • 674,394 Reviews
I think its a very cute poem.
I'm not entirely sure whats going on, maybe if it was longer you would be able to explain better.
my favorite part was:
"you said that you don't believe in
coincidences."
I just liked that. I like the word coincidence, so that helps too!
keep writing!
I really like this. I won't give it a full review because I'm not very well >.< so it would be a bit incoherent I think. But I like this poem =] your wording is very pretty and simplistic.
First of all I would like to remind you of our 2:1 ratio for posting. Remember the more you review the more people will review your work!
Now onto your poem. Im honestly a bit confused by it. I think you need more detail, it leaves alot of questions open: Why did you choose to leave? Why do you still love them? Are you ashamed about your decision and could that be why you wont talk loud?
It has alot of potential and I hope you maybe extend it more, it would be lovely.